Monday, March 1, 2010

Dutifulness to ones parents: Story


We found a really good story on dutifulness to ones parents through Ajyal, and wanted to share it with you.

This is an incident related by a (female) medical doctor. She says:

An elderly woman in her sixties came to my office accompanied by her son in his thirties. I noticed he paid extraordinary attention to her to the extent that he'd hold her hand, fix her cloak for her and offer her food and drink. After examining her and requesting tests I asked him about her mental state because she did not behave quite normally and her responses to my questions were unbalanced. He informed me that she has been mentally challenged since birth. I then asked who takes care of her. He responded, I do. I said great, but who tends to keeping her clean and her clothing and so forth. He said, I take her to the bathroom, prepare her clothing and wait till she's done and hang her clothing in the closet and put the dirty clothes in the wash and buy whatever is short. I asked, why don't you hire a servant for her? He siad, because my mother is "miskeenah" (helpless) like a child and she doesn't complain about anything... I'm afraid a servant would take advantage of her (i.e. harm her). I was amazed at his responses and how righteous/dutiful a child he was. I then asked him if he was married. He responded in the affirmative saying Alhamdulillaah and he also has a child. In that case your wife can tend to your Mom, I said. He responded that his wife does her share; she prepares the food and feeds his mother and he has hired a servant to assist his wife. However, he said, I'm keen to eat with her because of her diabetes! I was even more amazed and held back the tears. I snuck a peak at her fingernails and found they were short and clean. I asked, what about her fingernails? He said, I told you doctor, she's helpless, me of course (I see to her nails). The mother looked at him and said, when are you going to buy me the potatoes? He responded, no problem, I'll take you to the grocer right away. The mother was so excited and got up saying, The son turned around and said, by Allaah... I am more happy when she gets happy than when my own child gets happy. I pretented to be writing in her file just so he coouldn't see I was affected. I asked if she had kids besides him. He responded that he was only child because his father had divorced her after only one month. I said, O.. then your dad raised you. He said, no, my grandmother took care of both of us and she died (may Allaah have mercy on her) when I was ten years old. Did your mother take care of you when you were ill, or do you recall she ever looked after you or shared in your joy and sadness? He responded, Dooooctoooor, my Mom is "miskeenah" (helpless). All my life since I was ten I've been worried about her, fearful for her and taking care of her. I then wrote a prescription for her and explained it to the son. He took his mother by the hand and said, let's go to the grocer now. The mother said, aren't we going to Makkah? I was surprised and asked her, why do you want to go to Makkah? She said, I want to ride on a plane. I said to the son, there's no obligation on her to go for 'umrah. Why would you take her and cause such inconvenience to yourself? He said, perhaps the joy she might feel if I was to take her would be of greater reward with the Lord of the worlds than if I were to do an 'umrah without her. They left my office and I closed the door and told the nurse I needed some rest. I cried with all my heart and said to myself, all this and she was never really a mother to him. She only carried him and gave birth to him; she never raised him, never stayed up nights for him, never taught him, never shared in his pain and sorrows, never slept next to him out of fear for him, never...never...never... And with all that, there was such dutifulness and kindness (on the part of the son towards his mother). I recalled my mother and compared my condition to his... I thought about my own kids and whether I would get even a quarter of that kindness from them... I wiped away my tears, completed my rounds and returned home with an aching heart.

Allaah says in soorah al-Israa:

( وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا (23) وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا )

23. And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.

24. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."

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